Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
