can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
Randomize
