FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Randomize
