Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Randomize
