WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Randomize
