I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I would fuck him just for his dog
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
