I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
weddingsv make me drug and hornr
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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