Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Randomize
