We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
Randomize
