Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
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