Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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