If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
Randomize
