The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Randomize
