Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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