how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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