you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
