I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Randomize
