my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Randomize
