Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
PANTIES FOUND
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