Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
I'm really busy with my period
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