Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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