She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Randomize
