Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
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