I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
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