Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
