Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
These tits shall not be calmed
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Randomize
