I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Randomize
