you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
