Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
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