They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize