Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Randomize
