So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Randomize
