Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Randomize
