i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
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