How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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