Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
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