does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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