The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
