wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
