I'm going to jail i love you
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
Randomize
