Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
