tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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