the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Randomize
