So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Randomize
