i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize