I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Randomize
