He is such a slut. More and more my type.
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Randomize
