So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
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