ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
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