addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
