You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
Randomize
