the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
I don't usually arrange sex via text message
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
