Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
