When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
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