Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
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