let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Randomize
