My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
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