1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
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